Is the Church keeping women more single?

Christianity is the cornerstone of black culture.  In fact, roughly 8 in 10 or 79% of black people identify as Christian, with most black women identifying as Christian compared to black men (Masci, 2018).  

Black women have cited attending church because it enhances regular communal relationships and offers a safe space to discuss money, relationships, and family issues.  Interestingly enough, 87% of black women – much more than any other race – turn to their faith to get through life. And alarmingly, many black women prioritize their religious life and educational attainments over marriage and having children (Labbe-DeBose, 2012)!

While having faith in a higher power is beneficial in many ways, especially since I hold the same belief system, women in mass should be careful not to undermine the importance of a nuclear family structure and having some form of male headship.  Unfortunately, this is not true in many black families, as single mothers lead most families in the black community.

So why do black women prioritize their faith over a structured nuclear family when many issues plaguing the black community stem from fatherless homes?  As previously mentioned, women discuss issues surrounding money, family, and relationships during church attendance; No wonder this is the main topic of discussion!

The cause of the majority of single black women in churches

Although there is a concern about why women prioritize their religious life over the nuclear family, the real question should be why so many black women are single in an institution that should support marriage as a moral imperative.  Why hasn’t this stopped at the church’s doors?

The answer is simple; many pastors are so-called wolves in sheep’s clothing. In Matthew 7:15 (KJV), the Bible says, “Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly, they are ravening wolves.” Unbeknownst to the woman, her pastor leads by self-interest, superseding the congregation’s salvation or personal happiness, for that matter!

Satan’s tactical plan to steal, kill, and destroy the black community

Satan is a liar – he is the father of lies.  His lies cause him to steal, kill, and destroy.  Destroying the family structure is no exception!  Through his lies and deceit, Satan will use his minions – empty vessels for his evil plans to destroy an individual, a family, or even an entire community.  How can he craftily use an empty vessel – a false prophet – to carry out his evil plans to destroy the black family or community?  Isolate women from men, prey on the vulnerable, and spread false doctrine, leading many astray from the truth, ultimately leading to spiritual death.

Pastors understand that when a woman is married or has a male headship in the home, she may be less able to be impressed upon.  But if she is single, the pastor can replace the man of the house with himself using his charisma, masculinity, and leadership – values women would probably like to see in a partner of their own.  He will use these traits to impress himself and his false ideologies upon the woman, deceiving her into believing that having a relationship with God alone is what she should focus on.  When really, that is only half the truth.  

Why many church leaders hide the truth

The Bible says it is better to marry than to burn with desire (1 Corinthians 9:7).  It also says in 1 Corinthians 9:2, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” The Bible states that if you burn with the desire to have sexual relations, you should marry because sex outside the confines of marriage is fornication – which is a sin.  Many people, particularly women in the church are burning with passion, much of which are single mothers. Still, pastors are not correcting women and providing them with the tools necessary to secure a successful marriage to have sex lawfully soundly in God’s eyes.  Why?  Because if women in the church all hypothetically have a husband – a male headship, these same pastors’ lies and deceit will not only be exposed, but they will also lose a lot of money through those tithes and offerings they receive! 

The truth of the Bible revealed

Church leaders today prey on the vulnerable and deceive many to gain wealth.  They know that the very circumstances that often lead people to attend church also make these same people vulnerable. They will lie and say the only way to receive redemption or a blessing is to sew tithes and offerings when this is all a lie!  The Bible says the Levites were the only tribe ordained to collect tithes and offerings (Numbers 18: 24-26); does this mean all pastors belong to the Leviticus tribe?  I think not!  Instead, as Christians, we are called to give to the poor.  Proverbs 19:17 says, “He that hath pity upon the poor, lendeth unto the Lord, and that which he hath given, will he pay him again.”  The Bible makes it unequivocally clear that God’s blessing will be poured upon you when you give to the poor cheerfully.  Not that if you give to your pastor, a blessing will be poured upon you – how silly does that sound!? I am not saying you cannot donate to your church; if you feel the church is edifying and convicting, you can donate by all means. I am saying that tithing to your pastor is not the gateway to heaven.

The serpent in the Garden returns for the church

We must understand church leaders are also human and have the same skill as any other public speaker who works on the crowd to appeal to their emotions.  Women are generally weaker vessels due to our emotional nature and inability to reason as apt as a man could. So it is even more advantageous for these so-called pastors who see a single black woman down on hard times, looking for any beacon of hope to influence and manipulate for their pocketbooks.  In fact, this is precisely what the serpent did in the Garden of Eden when he took the opportunity to deceive Eve when she was alone and isolated from her headship, Adam.  The Bible says, 2 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV) “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve, through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.”  Paul feared that the same way the serpent deceived Eve, so shall it be when many are deceived by false prophets – which is what we see in mass today!

Is the Church keeping women single?

The Bible says in 1 John 4:1 (KJV) “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world”.   As Christians, we must use discernment through the holy spirit to test every spirit.  In addition, we are called to show ourselves approved by reading the word of God for ourselves so we will know the truth (1 Timothy 2:15). The Bible says “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” God did not call for the majority of us women to be single, neither did he call for us to be single mothers in mass! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” Is our perils the result of not tithing to the church, or is it the result of being alone? If we desire sexual intimacy or children, God clearly wants us to have a husband if a woman or a wife if a man (1 Corinthians 9:2).

So the question remains, is the Church keeping women single, and the simple answer is yes they are!  Many churches keep women single to protect their bottom line, but in the process, it leaves the congregation unfulfilled and unhappy, ultimately leading to spiritual death!

If you’re suffering more than you think is necessary…or more than you think is desirable…that means you’re way more ignorant than you need to be

Jordan Peterson

Reference

Masci, D. (2018) 5 facts about the religious lives of African Americans: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/02/07/5-facts-about-the-religious-lives-of-african-americans/

Labbe-DeBose, T. (2012) Black women are among country’s most religious groups: 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/black-women-are-among-countrys-most-religious-groups/2012/07/06/gJQA0BksSW_story.html